Marita's Poetry
From The Heart
Page 2


I'M NOT WORTH YOU TEARS

I've been through so many things in my life
and now its time to be free
to find out who I am and what I want.
I can't go on living like this anymore,
for the more I go on,
I'm going to explode.
I don't want to see you cry,
for baby I'm not worth your tears
for I've caused you pain and sorrow
Don't shed your tears for me
sometimes I don't understand me,
but just maybe one of these days
I will........
I feel lonely and blue inside
and I don't want to see you cry
for baby I'm not worth your tears,
for I've caused you pain and sorrow
don't shed your tears for me.
remember wherever I go,
I will always love you.
I love you and always will
I just want my freedom
and try to find out who I am
it's not your fault
I'm the way I am
it's me, not you.
so remember...
I don't want to see you cry
for baby I'm not worth your tears
for I've caused you pain and sorrow
don't shed your tears for me
just please don't cry over me.
I'm not worth your tears


I just wanna CRY!


WICKED LADY

I'M A WICKED LADY
YOU USED ME ONCE
YOU'RE GONNA USE ME NO MORE
FOR I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU
AND I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WANT ME
FOR AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU
YOU WON'T WANT HER ANYMORE

I'M GONNA TIE YOU UP,
WHIP YOU GOOD
TREAT YOU MEAN AND DIRTY
YOU'RE GOING TO BEG ME TO STOP
BUT I'M GONNA KEEP ON HURTING
JUST LIKE YOU HURT ME

SHE'S GONNA LEAVE YOUR ASS
WONDERING WHAT THE HELL WENT ON
SHE KNOWS YOU MESSED AROUND ON HER
FOR I'M THE ONE WHOS GOING TO HAVE YOU NOW.


TOO HARD TO SAY I'M SORRY

Just two words it is all that she would ask of me
and I could have the world
and all that it hold for me.
Of love and tender care,
not the pain and the sorrow
that will be mine tomorrow.
but I just seem to can't say it
I'm sorry.
I know exactly what i should do,
admit I'm wrong.
it wouldn't take long
and I know exactly what I ought to say.
but i'm not built that way
I wish that I could say I'm sorry
I'm a man, at least
thats what I like to think
a stubborn man,
but now is standing on the brink
of pain and despair
and I care and I'm sorry
and I ought to tell her
but I just can't seem to,
can't say I'm sorry.
I know exactly what I should do
but I'm a fool
I guess I'll do the things fools do.
I'll stand and in my stubborn ways
and as they think I'll say I'm sorry


I FEEL LONELY WITHOUT YOU

I sit here alone
feeling so empty and lonely
I think of you often'
Every minute of the day
Wondering how you are
What you are doing
Wishing I could hold you

I sit remembering all we've shared
Dreaming of what will be
And crying a tear for every minute
We are apart

At times I tell myself I am strong
And the time apart will go quickly
Yet at others, I sit and cry
And wonder why love must hurt this way

Though somewhere in the loneliness...
Somewhere in the emptiness
I find myself feeling very loved
And I realize that
It's not the loving that hurts so much
It's being without you.


TAKE THE TIME

It's really much to soon for me to know
If this love I feel will grow
So if you want, lets take tonight to find out
Cause, the way I feel tonight
Everything will be alright
For I will keep your candle burning
Why not open up your heart to me
For I can see that love light of yours glowing

Lets take the time tongiht
For the way I feel tonight
I love you
If I can keep your love light glowing
Then lets take the time to see if
We can work it out
For you never know,
we may fall in love again
But its way to much to know
if my love will grow
And I know its gonna take time
for your love to grow
But I really hope
we can make things work out


I just wanna BE ALONE!


DON'T UNDERSTAND

I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYMORE
HE USED TO LOVE ME
NOW HE SAYS HATEFUL WORDS
HE TREATS ME LIKE DIRT
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LOVE
IT'S GONE AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT WENT WRONG
I CAN'T KEEP ON LOVING HIM
FOR HE HAS HURT ME SO BAD
MENAT ABUSE IS SO HORRIFYING
HE CALLS ME WORTHLESS,
UGLY, AND FAT
WHY THE HARSH WORDS?
WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO THE LOVE WE USED TO HAVE?
IT'S GONE AND I'VE BUILT A WALL
THAT CANNOT BE BROKEN DOWN
BY THIS MAN WHO USED TO LOVE ME


WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME

WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME
WHY MUST I SIT AND CRY
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS SOMEONE
TO TALK TO AND LISTEN TO ME
I'M NOT ALL THAT BAD
IF ONLY YOU'D LET ME TALK AND CRY
SURE, I CRY, FOR I GET UPSET
BUT ALL YOU DO IS SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS
I NEED A GENTLE HAND TO GUIDE ME
SOMEONE WHO CARES FOR ME
SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM
I'M SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT
BUT NO ONE IS PERFECT
NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE
WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS LOVE
SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME, WHEN I TALK
TALK TO ME IN GENTLE WORDS NO NEED FOR HATEFUL WORDS
LOVE ME WHILE YOU CAN
LIFE IS SHORT AND LIFE IS FRAGILE
YOUR HERE ONE DAY AND GONE THE NEXT
SO LEARN TO LISTEN AND TALK TO ME
I ONLY NEED TO TALK SOMETIME
I HAVE PROBLEMS...
AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM
I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME
BUT YOU NEVER HAVE THE TIME FOR ME

12-13-98
COPYRIGHTED BY MARITA MYLES
PLEASE ASK PERMISSION
TO USE ANY OF MY POEMS
THANK YOU VERY MUCH


WHY SHED TEARS

I DON'T KNOW WHATS COME OVER ME
I SEEM TO CAN'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE
IS IT ME OR JUST THE WORLD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT THE FUTURE HOLDS
EVEN IF WE TRIED TO STAY TOGETHER
WOULD IT BE WORTH THE PAINS
BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO HURT YOU
YOU DIDN'T HURT ME. I'M TO BLAME
SO DON'T BLAME THE PROBLEMS ON YOU
DON'T SHED TEARS FOR ME
FOR I'M NOT WORTH THE SALT IN YOUR TEARS
JUST PLEASE DON'T BE HURT
BUT I KNOW THATS HARD TO DO
AFTER I'VE PUT YOU THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN
PLEASE DON'T GET ATTACHED TO ME
FOR I CANNOT GET ATTACHED TO NO ONE
FOR I AM A LONER, AT LEAST WANT TO BE
SO REMEMBER DON'T GET ATTACHED
TO SOMETHING YOU LOVE,
FOR IT ONLY HURTS YOU
WHEN THAT SOMETHING YOU LOVE
IS NOT AROUND ANYMORE
FOR SOMETIMES I CAN'T TRUST MYSELF
NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
AND I DON'T LIKE TO HURT THINGS
ITS JUST I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE
AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW
FOR LOVE CAUSES PAIN, SORROW,
TEARS AND LOVE HURTS ALOT
SO DON'T FORCE ME TO LOVE
FOR I CAN'T


CHANGE

WILL THINGS EVER CHANGE IN MY LIFE
OR WILL IT BE....
THE SAME THINGS DAY AFTER DAY.
ALWAYS DOING THE SAME OLD THINGS,
GETTING SO DULL.
CAN'T THINGS GET BETTER FOR ME.
I WANT A BETTER LIFE.
BUT WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO.
I HAVE TO GET UP
AND GET A HOBBY OR GO SOMEWHERE.
I NEED A VACATION,
SO I CAN GET SOME REST
FROM ALL MY WORRIES.
I NEED TO BE ALONE
FOR AWHILE TO THINK,
TO GET TO KNOW MYSELF.
I HAVE TO GET AWAY
TO GET TO LIKE MYSELF AGAIN.
I'M GONNA CHANGE


I just wanna BE LOVED!


I DON'T KNOW

I SIT AND I WONDER WHY
HE TREATS ME THE WAY HE DOES
HE SAYS HE LOVES ME,
BUT WHY ALL THE PAIN AND HURT
THE HURTFUL WORDS
CUT ME LIKE A KNIFE
HE USED TO BE
SO SWEET AND KIND
BUT NOW THERES A ANIMAL
UNLEASED IN HIM
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
SHOULD I RUN AND HIDE
OR SHOULD I STAY AND FIGHT
I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
IF HE'S THE SAME
ONE I USED TO LOVE
OR IF HE'S A COMPLETE STRANGER
BUT SOMEDAY I WILL FIND OUT
BUT FOR NOW THE WORDS
CAN KEEP CUTTIN ME
MAYBE SOMEDAY HE WILL BE
THE RIGHT GUY AGAIN
ONLY TIME WILL TELL


Scared

Why am I so scared
that's what I ask myself
I'm not sure what I'm scared of
It's just surgery scares me
wondering what's gonna happen
even though I'm asleep
not knowing afterwards
is what scares me
I know I shouldn't be scared
But I'm putting my life
in the hands of a surgeon
Not saying he doesn't know
....what he's doing
It's just scary knowing
I'm going in for brain surgery
maybe a hand or leg
or foot would be different
but brain surgery
scares me so much
I know my family is scared
but they seem to be
......hanging in there
while I'm so nervous and scared
But my family...
will really be scared
when the big day arrives
for now maybe...
I should learn to RELAX
try not to be so scared
I will be strong
and with god's help
he will guide me through.

I made this poem when
i went to surgery
april 16, 1999
I got to come home April 22, 1999
I am doing okay for now.
but still alittle sore.

1999 Marita Myles
(All rights reserved)


ALL I EVER WANTED

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS LOVE
ALL I EVER GET IS HURT
HURTING INSIDE FROM ALL THE HEARTACHES
YOUR WORDS STABBING THROUGH ME LIKE A KNIFE
WHEN ALL I EVER WANTED WAS LOVE
I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP
WONDERING WHERE DID ALL MY YEARS GO
NEVER COULD I BE HAPPY
I ONLY WISH THINGS WOULD OF CHANGED
BUT NOW THEY NEVER WILL
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU LOVE ME
BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
I KNOW THOSE WORDS ARE LIES
YOU NEVER LOVED ME AND NEVER WILL
FOR YOUR HURTFUL WORDS
CUT ME DOWN ALL THE TIME
NEVER HARDLY DOES
A KIND WORD COME FROM YOU
WHAT HAVE I DONE
TO MAKE YOU HATE ME SO BAD
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS LOVE
BUT IN THE END
ALL I GOT WAS HURT
WILL I EVER BE LOVED AGAIN
OR WILL IT ALWAYS BE HURT


THERE ONCE WAS A CHILD

THERE WAS ONCE A CHILD
WHO GREW UP
IN A VERY BAD FAMILY.
BAD THINGS HAPPENED TO HER.
BUT AS SHE GREW UP,
SHE LEARNED ALOT OF THINGS.
SHE GREW TO BE STRONG
AND TO BE PROUD.
SHE'S LEARNED
TO COPE WITH HER LIFE.
SHE'S GIVEN BIRTH
TO HER OWN CHILDREN.
BUT HER CHILDREN
ARE TREATED DECENT.
THATS FOR...
SHE LEARNED ALOT.
SHE GREW UP..
TO BE STRONG AND TO BE PROUD.


VALERIE

VALERIE'S LONG HAIR
BLOWS IN THE WIND.
SHE IS A SYMBOL
OF FREEDOM.
VALERIE'S LIPS PUCKER SHUT,
WHEN SHE DOESN'T WANT FOOD.
SHE IS A SYMBOL OF DETERMINATION.
VALERIE IS A WOMAN OF STRENGTH.
VALERIE IS A BABY OF LOVE,
A BABY OF BEAUTY.
VALERIE IS OURS.
VALERIE IS YOURS.


UNTITLED

SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY
I ALWAYS WANT TO CRY
FOR I AM ALWAYS SAD
SOMETIMES SO VERY MAD
WHAT DID ALL THIS HURT DO TO ME
MAYBE ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME

BUT AGAIN MY PAST IS BAD
AND IT MAKES ME VERY SAD
TO KNOW I WAS ROBBED
OF SO MUCH LIFE
NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS LAUGH

I WANT TO BE ME
AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT ME
I WANT TO FEEL GOOD
AND BE HEARD

I MUST MAKE MY PAST BE HEARD
EVEN THOUGH IT MAY HURT
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW


WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL

WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL.
I WANT TO SHOUT IT TO THE CLOUDS.
I WANT TO YELL IT ACROSS THE OCEAN.
IT'S ALL OVER.
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL GIRL.
NINE MONTHS OF WORRY AND DISCOMFORT
AND THERE SHE WAS.
ALL PINK AND CUDDLY,
WITH LONG ALMOND SHAPED EYES.
PERFECT LITTLE HANDS AND FEET.
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL.
I WANT TO SHOUT IT ACROSS THE MOUNTAINS.
I WANT TO YELL IT THROUGH THE FIELDS.
IT'S ALL OVER.
VALERIE IS BEAUTIFUL.
VALERIE IS HEALTHY.
VALERIE IS PERFECT.
THANK YOU VALERIE.
THANK YOU GOD.


MY SON

Though you were 5 years old
when you were given to your dad.
I will always love you
wherever you are.
Even though your far away
and I don't get to see you
for quite awhile.
I know deep in my heart,
we will see each other again.
so you have a new mother,
I will always be your real mother
and will never forget
the fun times of raising you
those first 5 years.
some were bad,
some were good,
but deep down in my heart,
I knew you forgave me.
I love you and will never forget you.
For your my child and always
will be special to me.
I love you and
wish I could see you again.
But time will let us
be together real soon.
I just know it.
So take care hon,
until we meet again,
even if its when your older.
I'll always love you forever,
no matter where you are.


BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND,
WE HAVE SHARED THE SECRETS
IN OUR LIVES AND GROWN STRONG.
BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND,
WE HAVE SEALED A BOND
THAT TIME CANNOT REMOVE
AND SMILED A SECRET SMILE
THAT THE WORLD SHALL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
BECAUSE HAVING SUCH A FRIEND
IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD.
I HAVE RICHES
IN UNTOLD MEASURE
AND A HEART OUTSIDE
MY OWN TO CALL HOME.


MY LITTLE BROTHER

Seeing him standing there
His blond hair blowing in the wind
His smile always brightened your day
He was the one that could
make you laugh and cry
He was so kind and gentle
Remembering the bad times
But what the heck
Everyone has bad times
He was there when you needed him
Until one terrible night
Someone took his life
and destroyed such a fine kid
They took his life in cold blood
Such a brutal way to go
Why did this happen to him
When he was so young to die
But he's gone to be with god
And one day we'll all see him again
Until we meet in heaven little brother
Rest in peace
We all loved you and will
never ever forget you.

DEDICATED TO MY LITTLE BROTHER
AFTER HE WAS BRUTALLY KILLED
AT THE AGE OF 17 YEARS OLD
MARITA MYLES
(HIS SISTER)




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I just wanna SCREAM!


UNTITLED

I ALWAYS ASK MYSELF WHAT DID I DO WRONG
I FEEL AS THOUGH I DON'T BELONG
THE SILENCE GROWS SO FAR APART
I THINK SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER IF WE PART
ALWAYS YELLING AT ME FOR NO REASON
WHY CAN'T THERE EVER BE A REASON
WHERE DID ALL THE LOVE GO
THAT I USED TO KNOW
HE SEEMS TO HATE ME MORE AND MORE
WE CAN NEVER SEE EYE TO EYE ANYMORE
SO I ALWAYS ASK WHAT DID I EVER DO WRONG
I KNOW DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART I DON'T BELONG
THIS LOVE THAT ONCE WAS
SHOULD FINALY END AND DIE LIKE A ROSE


UNTITLED

I SIT ALONE IN THE DARKNESS,
THINKING OF ANYTHING
I JUST DON'T SLEEP.
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY LIFE
WHAT IS MY LIFE ALL ABOUT?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
PRAYING TO GOD TO SHOW ME THE WAY,
WHAT IS MY PURPOSE HERE?
I NEED TO KNOW.
IT'S KILLING ME INSIDE
NOT KNOWING WHERE I STAND.
AM I AT ENDS ROPE
OR DO I HAVE A PURPOSE?
I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY,
UNTIL GOD ANSWERS MY PRAYERS.
I NEED TO KNOW WHERE I STAND.
I KNOW I'M GOOD FOR SOMETHING


ANIMALS

Sitting alone at night.
listening to the rain outside
all the animals sleeping,
wondering why...
all the strays come to me
Well I know God pointed them
in my direction
God,said,take care
of these creatures
the little animals love me
I shower them with food
....and water
how would humans like
to be like the strays
animals have no where to go.
They starve,
get run over
people hurt them,
torture them and why?
animals are small.
some are big.
they need loving people
they don't deserve
to be put on chains
and hit all the time
if you can't find the time
to love your pet,
then don't get one
how would you like
to be a child
and get thrown away?
thats how the animals feel.
you love them as a pup,
then you throw them away
when they've grown
well god sends me the strays.
I let them in.
some stay, some go
they are precious
and so lonely
there should be more
loving people as I am
to take these precious animals in
people should learn
to take care of the strays
you never know,
the stray could be
an angel sent by God
take care of the stray animals.


PUT THE GUN AWAY

I'VE TOLD HIM
AND I'VE TOLD HIM TOO MANY TIMES.
NO GUNS IN THE HOUSE
HE ONLY THOUGHT......
HE WAS PROTECTING HIS FAMILY
TILL ONE LONG DARK NIGHT
HE WANTED TO SHOW THE GUN OFF
WE THOUGHT THE GUN WAS UNLOADED
HE PULLED THE TRIGGER,
IT WENT (BANG)
RIGHT IN HIS TEMPLE.
NOW HE'S GONE FOREVER
HERE'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY
WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN?
WHY DID YOU GET THE GUN?
NOW ALL I CAN SAY TO ANYONE ELSE,
PUT THE DAMN GUN AWAY
DON'T BRING IT OUT AGAIN,
LEAVE THE DAMN THING ALONE.


HE GETS VERY MAD AT HER
FOR SHE NEVER GOES TO BED
SHE CAN'T HELP IT,
SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY
SHE'S AFRAID..
SHE MIGHT MISS SOMETHING
LIFE IS TO SHORT,
TIME IS SHORT
ALSO......
WHY IS SHE SO AFRAID TO SLEEP?
MAYBE ITS DEATH
SHE'S SO AFRAID OF
NOBODY KNOWS, NOT EVEN HER
MAYBE AFRAID OF NOT WAKING UP
SHE'S SEEN DEATH
TOO MANY TIMES
HE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND HER,
MAYBE TALK TO HER
IN LOVING WORDS AND GESTURES
HE NEEDS TO TREAT
HER AS A LOVER,
NO NEED FOR MEANESS
A MAN TO HOLD HER
WHEN SHE CRIES
A MAN SHE CAN TURN TO
THEN MAYBE....
SHE'LL BE ABLE TO SLEEP,
SO THEREFORE LET HER BE
HER TIME CLOCK
WON'T SHUT DOWN YET,
BUT SOON MAYBE IT WILL.


I NEED

WHERE HAVE ALL THE YEARS GONE
THEY USED TO BE SO MUCH FUN
BUT NOW ALL YOU DO IS SIT
NEVER TALKING TO ME,
NEVER OPENING UP TO ME
NEVER REALLY TELLING ME
HOW YOU FEEL
I NEED UNDERSTANDING TOO
I NEED SOMEONE TO TURN TO
WHEN PROBLEMS GET ME DOWN
I NEED A UNDERSTANDING PERSON
WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME WHEN I CRY
I DON'T MEAN TO BE BITCHY
IT'S JUST SOMETIMES I FEEL BAD
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME
AND MAKE ME FEEL LOVED
I NEED TO SOMETIMES CRY
SURE, I'M HARD TO LIVE WITH
BUT I CAN BE A GOOD PERSON
IF YOU TALKED TO ME TOO
EVEN IF ITS IN NICE NOTES
WE NEED EACH OTHER
WE NEED TO SAY..
I LOVE YOU MORE OFTEN
EVERY DAY...
NO MORE HURTS


THE WALL

SHE SITS AND CRIES ALONE,
WONDERING WHERE SHE WENT WRONG
WHY THERE'S SO MUCH SILENCE
BETWEEN HIM AND HER
SHE WANTED LOVE FOR SO LONG.
SHE THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE
HE USED TO LOVE HER SO MUCH,
BUT THEN THE SILENCE CAME
THE WALL SLOWLY STARTED BUILDING.
HE CAN'T BREAK HER WALLS
SHE'S MADE THEM SO STRONG,
FOR SHE'S TIRED...
AND TIRED OF BEING HURT
ALL THE TIME...
AS TIME GOES ON,
MAYBE THE WOUNDS WILL HEAL
BUT AS FOR NOW,
THE WALL GETS THICKER AND THICKER
SHE FEELS IT INSIDE,
THAT THERE'S ONLY COLDNESS
THERE'S NO WARMTH IN HIS HEART.
SHE'S TRIED SO HARD
BUT THE TIMES GOTTEN WORSE
THIS WALL...
MAY COME DOWN SOME DAY
BUT AS FOR NOW
THE WALL IS GOING STRONG


MISS COCAINE

SO NOW LITTLE MAN,
YOU'VE GROWN TIRED OF REDS,
GOOFBALLS, LSD
AND YOU WANT
...SOMETHING BETTER,
WELL BABY,
LET ME TELL YOU
BEFORE YOU START
MESSING WITH ME.
I'LL MAKE YOU SICK
TO YOUR STOMACH.
I'LL MAKE YOUR STOMACH CHURN
JUST TO GET A PIECE
OF MY WHITE POWDER.
SO LITTLE MAN,
BEFORE YOU START
MESSING WITH ME,
IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?
YOU'RE ROB AND STEAL
JUST TO GET MY POWDER.
MY NAME IS MISS COCAINE.
I'M NOTHING TO MESS WITH.
SO PLEASE, HEED MY WARNING.
DON'T EVER START
MESSING WITH ME,
CAUSE BABY,
WHEN I'M DONE,
YOU'LL BE FOUND
IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE.
STAY CLEAN.


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